Never That Simple
by obliviousworlds
Summary: When Dean gets really sick, Sam rethinks his belief in god, and John and Bobby just try to keep it all together for the boys. Dean/16 Sam/12
1. Chapter 1

"Dean, you really need to pay attention." John Winchester snaps at his oldest son before slamming the latin book down on the table. Dean really needed to know these rituals in case something real bad ever happened.

Dean looks up at his father and blinks a few times. He's so tired, he can barely keep his eyes open. "Sorry, dad." He mumbles and scrubs at his eyes with his fists. He's been tired lately, and he hasn't exactly felt exactly one hundred percent. He secretly blames his dad making him train and research harder, but honestly, he didn't even know what the hell was going on with his body.

John scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Sorry wouldn't have done you any good if Sam had gotten hurt in the middle of a hunt, now would it?"

Dean's eyes widen as the fear of something bad happening to Sammy takes hold in his mind. And oh god, it's his biggest fear.

"Stop that." A voice growls from the doorway of the kitchen. Both John and Dean look up to see Sam walking in, and not looking pleased one bit that his dad was using him to make Dean study harder.

"Sam, stay out of this." John says and runs a hand over his face.

Sam takes a seat next to his brother at the table and crosses his arms. "I _hate _it when you use me like that to make Dean feel bad when he doesn't pay attention. You know how it makes him feel." He says and glances over at Dean, who's now got his eyes glued to the latin book.

John sighs and shakes his head. Sam just doesn't understand the real danger out there. Hell, he'd only known what was even out there for a few years, and John has known for twelve years. Again, Sam just doesn't understand.

"Where's Bobby?" He ends up asking, not wanting to get into a fight with his youngest at the moment.

"Outside. Workin on a car."

John nods. He'd have to give it to his friend for letting them stay at his place for a few days to look for a new hunt nearby. And the boys never passed up a chance to go see Bobby; The closest thing to an uncle they'll ever have.

"I'll get it right, dad." Dean says, bringing them all back to the present. "I won't let anything happen to Sammy." He scrubs at his eyes again and tries to hide how bad he's feeling.

_Must be coming down with the flu or something, _he says and shakes his head, even though he's been feeling bad for a while.

Sam sends his father a glare and shakes his own head, making John sigh again.

"That's enough for today, Dean." He says and takes the book back. "We'll attack it later, yeah?"

"Yeah, okay." Dean agrees and yawns. "I'm gonna go crash for a few." He adds and stands up from the table and makes his way to the room both him and Sam share.

"He must be coming down with the flu." John says out loud, and Sam glares at him again.

"He's been like this for _weeks, _dad. Your just now noticing?"

John tries to think back at the past few weeks. To his knowledge, Sam is actually right about this. Dean's been sleeping more and he hasn't been as active as he should be.

But it couldn't be anything serious, right?

"He needs a doctor." Sam's words pull him back to the present after zoning out again.

John waves a hand at him. "I'm sure it's just from working a little harder than he should be, Or it's the flu. a little rest and relaxation and he'll be just fine, Sam."

Sam rolls his eyes. "He's _been _resting and relaxing. Something is still wrong. I'm his brother and I know these things."

"Well, I'm his father and I think I know if he's sick or not."

Sam mumbles something John can't hear, and it only makes his temper flare.

"What was that, Samuel?" He growls and grasps the chair in front of him so tight, his knuckles turn white after a few seconds.

Before Sam can answer, the front door is opening and Bobby is walking in. The older hunter takes notice of how tense it is in the room and sighs. All Sam and John ever did these days was fight, and he honestly never knew how to react to the sudden outbursts.

"What's going on?" He asks once he takes notice of John and Sam glaring at eachother. "What are ya two fightin' about now?" He leans against the counter and wipes his grease covered hands on a dish towel, waiting for an acceptable answer.

"Dean's sick and dad won't take him to a doctor." Sam answers in a matter of fact tone, making Bobby smile. _That kid is gonna do wonders in this world when he gets older, _he thinks.

Bobby glances over at his friend and raises his eyebrows. "John?"

John shakes his head and rolls his eyes again. "Sam's just hovering. Dean would say something if he was sick."

"Doubt it. Your on his case a lot and-"

"That's enough, Sam!"

Bobby closes his eyes as he hears the argument bubble out. These fights always got out of hand way too fast for his liking.

"Enough you two!" he snaps, making both John and Sam look up at him with wide eyes. Bobby almost smiles because of how identical the two of them look. There's no way in hell John can deny that little boy being his.

_"I would never deny Sam_." _John told him when he brought it up once. "I know he's my kid and a spitting image of me. I'll always love him, even if he does drive me crazy." _

_"He's your kid, Johnny." Bobby had told him right back. "He's supposed to drive you crazy."  
_

"We'll just keep a better eye on Dean." He ends up saying and puts a hand on Sam's shoulder. "If he says he's sick, then we'll take him to the clinic. It'll all be okay."

"I can't believe your taking his side!" Sam blurts out and shrugs him off. Neither one of them were even taking in the fact that something was seriously wrong with his brother and that it wasn't going to go away on it's own!

John points down the hall. "Go to your room, _now._"

Sam rolls his eyes and walks down the hall. He can hear his dad apologizing to Bobby as he shuts the door to his and Dean's room. When he turns back around, fear hits his stomach when he sees how bad off his brother looks. He's laying in one of the beds, an arm over his eyes and he's sweating so much it's soaking through his clothes.

"Dean?" He says softly and walks over and sits on the edge of the bed and puts a hand on his brother's arm.

Dean uncovers his eyes and manages to give his little brother a weak smile. God he felt awful, but he didn't want to scare Sam. He'd heard the arguing his father and brother were doing in the kitchen and he knows how scared Sam must be, but he's got to be tough about it.

"Hey, Sammy." He whispers and pats the kid's hand. "What are you doin'?"

"Worrying about you. Your sick, Dean."

"Just the flu kiddo. I'll be fine in a few days."

Sam doesn't look convinced and looks down at the floor uncertain. He's not an idiot, he knows Dean is trying to hide the fact that something is really wrong.

"Hey," Dean says, getting his little brother to look at him again. "You gotta stop fighting with dad, okay?"

"But he never listens!" Sam argues, instantly regretting the outburst when he looks back at his brother's sick face.

"It's alright," Dean says and forces himself to sit up and pull his brother in for a hug. "I'm alright, okay? Just a little virus or something. You know I can't let anything keep me down for long." He says and laughs a little.

Sam laughs too and hugs his brother back despite his doubts, because he hopes that he would never lie to him, no matter the circumstance.

* * *

Dean sleeps the remainder of the day. He only feels worse when night comes but he doesn't tell anybody how bad it is. Maybe if he'll ignore it, it'll all just go away...

But _god _ he felt awful.

He curls up on his side and listens to Sam breathing in the room. Kid is out cold and it gives Dean something to focus on to try and get himself back to sleep.

He finds himself cursing under his breath when he breaks out into a cold sweat again. He feels it soaking his clothes and sighs. This is the second time this has happened today. He pushes himself up off the bed and stumbles into the bathroom and flicks on the light, squinting as he tries to get his eyes to focus.

He pulls his shirt off and leans against the sink with his head down for a few minutes. When he looks up, his eyes almost pop out of his head. There are bruises staining his skin across his abdomen and up his arms. He recalled some of them being there before, but they weren't _this _bad. He doesn't remember training this rough...

The room starts to spin and he slumps against the sink and whimpers. Something's wrong, oh god something is fucking wrong...

"S'm." He calls out weakly and tries to take in deep breaths to maintain his composure. "Sam!" He calls out again when he doesn't hear anything.

Sam blinks his eyes open a few times before turning his head over to the sound of his brother calling his name. Noticing he's not in his bed, he throws back his covers and slowly walks into the bathroom.

"Yeah, Dean?" He says and rubs his eyes. When he looks back up, he gasps at the sight of his brother. "Dean?"

"S'm...s'mthgs wr'ng." Dean manages to mumble before he collapses on the floor, slamming his head down on the edge of the sink on his way down.

"Dean!" Sam rushes to his brother's side and puts his hand on his head. "Dean wake up!" He says it a few times but he knows Dean is out cold and isn't gonna respond to him.

He glances down further at his brother's body and swallows hard. Dean hadn't yet put a shirt back on and he can _see _the bruising that's staining his brother's skin.

He feels his eyes well up with tears before he screams at the top of his lungs for his father. "DAD!"

* * *

_To Be Continued..._


	2. Chapter 2

John sighs as he continues pacing the emergency room floor at Sioux Falls General Hospital. The smell of antiseptic stings his nose everytime he breathes in, and he's reminded of how real this situation really is.

He's numb, panicking, but calm all at the same time. The sound of Sam screaming for him in the middle of the night keeps echoing in his head over and over again and he still _sees _Dean passed out on the bathroom floor.

It all happened pretty fast. He was asleep, and then he wasn't. As soon as Sam started crying for him, he stumbled out of bed to see what the hell was going on. He thought the kid was having a nightmare but then that didn't make any sense. If that _had _happened, Dean would have been the one to soothe him back to sleep.

Then he realized something was wrong with Dean. His fear was confirmed when he saw his oldest out cold on the bathroom floor, showing no signs of waking up. He had yelled for Bobby and told him to call 911 while kneeling down next to his son. Sam was next to him, but he was crying his eyes out and John didn't know what to do. He felt like crying himself.

That was an hour ago. John had ridden in the ambulance with Dean while Bobby and Sam followed behind. Dean was still out, and that only made the paramedics worry more. And as much as he hated it, as soon as they got to the hospital, Dean was taken from him and he was banished out into the waiting room with no signs of hope what so ever.

He sighs again when he glances up at the clock for the millionth time in the last 's midnight and he still hasn't heard any news on his kid and it's only making him want to strangle the doctors even more. Didn't they understand how worried he was? It's not like the ER is even busy tonight, they're the only ones there at the moment aside from the secretary at the desk who doesn't have any news for them. Go figure.

John glances over at his youngest when he hears a choked out sob. Sam's sitting in a chair next to Bobby with his arms wrapped tightly around himself. His eyes are bloodshot from crying, and he still sniffles every minute or so. He recalls Bobby trying to offer him comfort a few minutes ago, but Sam shook his head. The only comfort he was going to get was from his brother, and that just wasn't an option right now.

He takes a seat himself and smiles a little when Sam looks up at him. He motions for him to come over and Sam hesitates at first; God, he couldn't even blame him for it with all the fighting they did earlier. But Sam gets up and slowly walks over to his father. John pulls the boy into his lap and wraps his arms around him. Sam's twelve but he's small for his age so he looks like he's about ten sitting on his father's lap.

"It's all going to be okay." John whispers in Sam's ear when his youngest wrap his arms around his neck. "Dean's a fighter, he's going to be okay."

Sam sniffles again and lays his head down on his dad's shoulder. "I told you he was sick." He says softly, but both John and Bobby hear it, and it fucking _hurts _ like a slap in the face. But neither one of them have time to say anything because a doctor is coming out towards them, and John slides Sam off his lap and stands up and waits for the doctor to deliver the news.

"Family of Dean Singer?" He says and holds out his hand. He looks not much older than John, with dark hair and dark eyes. John squints his eyes before shaking his eyes and mutters "Christo" under his breath just to be sure.

The doctor tilts his head at him but doesn't flinch. "Pardon?"

John eases up a bit and shakes his head. "Nothing. I'm Dean's father, this is his brother Sam," He says and puts a hand on his youngest's head before glancing over at Bobby, "And that's my brother, Bobby."

The doctor nods and shakes all of their hands and Sam can just see that the news - whatever it is - isn't good news at all.

"I'm Dr. Matthews, and I've been caring for Dean ever since he was brought in." The doctor explains, eyes glancing between the two men and then down at the boy in between them.

This wasn't going to be easy.

"Do you know what's wrong with Dean? Why he collapsed?" Bobby asks.

Dr. Matthew's lips form a thin line before he's glancing over the chart in his hands. "I don't have an exact answer for that right now. I've done blood work and a CT scan but I've yet to determine what exactly caused the fall. His brain is fine, he's got a concussion but it's only mild." He assures and watches the relief spread over the family's faces.

"Why do I hear a but?" John asks, hands tightening their grip on Sam's shoulders.

"I'm concerned about his white blood count. It's way higher then it should be and that requires further testing to evaluate what's going on."

Bobby's eyes widen. "Doesn't that sometimes mean cancer?"

The words come out of his mouth before he realizes it. Sam gasps and he feels his heart slam into his stomach because, no, there's no way someone like _Dean _could have cancer. Not his brother, not the most important person in his life pretty much...

"Yes." The doctor says with a nod. "But we don't know anything for sure yet. I'm gonna do more tests, and we'll go from there. Don't go jumping to conclusions."

"He's got symptoms doesn't he?" John asks, tears filling his eyes. "Be straight with me here, doc. My boy has symptoms doesn't he?"

And suddenly, it's all making fucking perfect sense. The dizziness, the sweating, the _bruising_, the fatigue. It all comes together as Sam tries to remember all the shit he's learned about cancer in health class. He feels like he's going to throw up.

"The bruising is a sign." Dr. Matthew's confirms. "The nurses were all set to call CPS when they noticed." He puts his hand up when John's face turns angry. "But when I noticed the white blood cell count, I knew better."

"He's had other symptoms..." Sam says quietly and looks up at the doctor. "He has night sweats, so bad it soaks the sheets. He changes them so no one will notice but I'm his brother, I know these things."

The doctor nods at him and gives him a little smile. "Thanks, Sam." He says and looks back up at John and Bobby. "Has Dean been more tired than usual lately?" He asks.

"Yes." Both John and Bobby say in unison.

Dr. Matthew's nods at them again and sighs. "Don't get so worked up yet. I'm gonna admit him and run more tests and see what I can find out."

"Can we see him?" Bobby asks.

"Yeah, he's settled in a room right now. He was awake, and asking about his brother. I'll be up later to check on him."

Sam doesn't even hear the doctor talking anymore, he's still in shock that his brother might have _cancer._ _Cancer _kills people. He doesn't want Dean to die.

He snaps back to reality when he's being pulled away by his dad and they're both following Bobby to the elevator.

"Where are we going?" He asks and looks up at his father when the three of them are in the elevator. "Dean?"

John smiles down at his youngest before running a hand over his head. "Yeah, Sammy. We're going to go see Dean."

* * *

Dean sighs as he sinks down into the mattress of the hospital bed he's laying in. He's a bit dazed and confused but he feels better then what he was feeling down in the emergency room. All that he felt down there was pure fear. He had been awake briefly in the emergency room, but he didn't quite understand why he was there. He remembers looking for Sam and his dad and Bobby, but all that he saw was a bunch of doctors and nurses hovering over him and asking him a bunch of questions.

The fact that he was still shirtless made him shiver from the cold air in the hospital, and the bruising standing out way more on his abdomen then what it had been.

"Oh, sweetie." A nurse had said when she pulled back the blanket and taped sticky pads to his chest. "Did your dad do this to you?"

It had taken Dean a minute to realize what she just asked and he faintly shook his head and had told her, or atleast, he _thinks _he told her no. His dad would never hit him, ever. But he had a feeling CPS was still going to be called.

"It's okay." She had said and placed a hand back on his shoulder. "Your safe here."

Dean remembers laughing at her, his head protesting the movement. Leave it to doctors and nurses to automatically jump to conclusions.

"Leave it, Kelly." A new voice had said, and then a man was hovering over him giving him a little smile. "Hey, Dean. I'm Dr. Matthew's. Can you tell me what happened?"

And Dean really did try to remember what the hell happened, but his mind was still fuzzy and he was just confused. "No. I don't remember. Is my brother okay?"

The doctor had smiled down at him again. "I'm sure your brother is out in the waiting room. You took a hard fall and we've taken you for a CT scan and done some blood work."

Dean had dozed off after that for a little bit, and when he came to again, he heard the doctor and a few nurses consulting.

"The police need to be called. The bruising on this kid is terrifying." A nurse, Dean assumed it was Kelly, had said.

"It isn't abuse." The doctor had said and sighed. "His white blood count is high."

"Oh god."

Dean didn't know what that meant, but it didn't sound good. He must have dozed off again after that, because when he woke up the next time, he was in a hospital room instead of the ER. A nurse was adjusting his IV and had smiled down at him when she saw he was awake.

"Where's my brother?" Dean had asked her after taking notice of the empty room. "My dad..."

She patted his shoulder gently and smiled again. "Your doctor is down talking to them. They'll be up in a few minutes."

And Dean actually smiled back after that.

That had been a few minutes ago, and Dean's getting restless. He wants to know where the hell his dad is so he can sign him out of here and find out what the hell is going on. He gets his wish a few minutes later, his dad and brother and even Bobby finally walk into his room, but the looks on their faces make him worry.

"Dean..." John says and wraps his arms carefully around his oldest once he's next to the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright." Dean tells him and smiles over at Sam and Bobby.

"You scared us, Dean." Bobby tells him and takes a seat in the chair next to the bed. "You really scared us."

"You _collapsed." _Sam tells him and sniffled. "You wouldn't wake up."

Seeing how upset Sam looks makes Dean feel terrible. He can see the kid has been crying a lot by the look in his eyes and it only makes him feel even worse.

"I'm alright now." He says and puts a hand up to his aching head. John pulls it back down and rests it on the bed.

"You hit your head. It's bruised up pretty bad." He explains.

_What part of me isn't? _Dean wants to say, but he doesn't.

"When can I leave?" He asks instead. "They talked about CPS. Did they call?"

"Your staying the night and no they didn't." John assures him, glancing over at Bobby. "They're not going to do it, it's okay."

Except, it's not fucking okay. Dean knows something is wrong because of the short answers he's getting and because Sam's eyes are filling up with tears all over again.

"What's wrong with me?" Dean asks and looks at his dad. "They said something about my white blood cells. Is that bad?"

Sam can't keep the tears in any longer and he busts out crying all over again. Bobby pulls him into a hug and does his best to calm him down.

"They're admitting you." John says and nods. "They're going to do more tests to see why you collapsed and why your count is so high." He explains and rests one of his own hands on Dean's forehead.

Dean doesn't say anything, he just nods a little. "Okay."

Sam's cries die down a little, but he's still sniffling when Dean pulls him into the bed with him and wraps his arms around him.

"One step at a time." Bobby says and nods at him.

Dean nods back and relaxes back against the bed with his brother. But he knows better. Things for him are never that simple.

* * *

_To Be Continued.._


	3. Chapter 3

When Dean gets taken away for testing, Sam gets scared. He's never been more scared in his whole entire life than when Dean gives him a smile and then goes with the nurse and his father to a whole other area. John tells him he can't go, but that he can wait right outside and that Bobby will stay with him and that everything's going to be okay.

John's been telling him that, but Sam's not sure he believes him anymore.

He does as he's told and waits in the hallway outside the room where Dean's in. He slides down the wall and sits on the floor and wraps his arms around his knees and sighs. This isn't how this should be going, they should be at home or on the road. Dean should be talking to him and telling him how he's gonna keep him safe. Who's gonna keep Dean safe if he's sick?  
Sam makes a choice. He nods to himself and rests the palms of his hands on his head.

"You shouldn't be sitting on the floor."

Sam jumps and looks up, he relaxes when he sees it's just Bobby standing in front of him with a cup of coffee and a bottle of juice in his hands. He forgot he even left for a few minutes.

"I'm not moving." Sam says and glances over towards the door. How long did that stuff take anyways?

Bobby sighs and takes a seat down next too the kid and hands the bottle of juice over. "You shouldn't be gettin' so worked up. We don't know anything."

Sam scowls and takes the bottle. "Dad's worried. So something is obviously going on." He says and sets it down on the floor.

Bobby nods and places his hand on Sam's shoulder. "Whatever is going on, Dean's a fighter. You remember that, okay?"

Sam doesn't even have the chance to answer, because his dad is now standing in front of him with a little smile on his face.

"How's Dean?" Is the first thing Sam asks.

"He's alright." John says with a small nod. "They did a spinal tap, so he's resting for a bit, but he's driving the doctors and nurses crazy because he wants to see you."

Sam beams and it makes both Bobby and John laugh a little.

"Come on, let's go see your brother."

xxxxx

When Dean is brought back to his room an hour later, everyone else follows. The past hour had been hard, considering Dean had to lay completely still for an hour so he wouldn't get a migraine from the spinal tap. Sitting still isn't something he likes to do.

A nurse brings him lunch soon after he's situated back in bed, but he just pushes it over towards Sam and smiles at him. Sam doesn't smile back.

"Dean..." John starts and pushes the tray of food back towards his oldest. "You need to eat."

"I'm not hungry." Dean states and crosses his arms.

John glances down at Sam and sighs. Sam's looking up at him with sad, worried eyes that's telling him to make Dean listen to him so he won't get any sicker. John isn't gonna disapoint.

"Tough." He says and takes the lid off the tray.

Dean isn't backing down. "When was the last time Sam ate?"

John feels guilt seep through him as he takes in what Dean's asking him. It's been a while, he knows that. But he told Sam that if he got hungry, then he needed to tell either him or Bobby about it. Considering Bobby went back home to rest up, that only left him. And Sam hadn't said anything about it the past half hour.

"I'm okay." Sam says from the seat next to his brother's bed, but the way his hands are shaking say otherwise.

"Stay here." John says before walking out of the room, leaving the brother's alone.

Dean shakes his head and looks back over at his brother. "Dad not feeding you, Sam?" He asks and puts a hand on his little brother's arm.

Sam swallows hard and shrugs. "He told me to tell him or Bobby if I was hungry so they could get me something, but I didn't say anything. It's not dad's fault, and I'm alright."

_Unlike you, Dean._

Dean's eyes narrow and he sighs. "So I just made dad feel like a piece of shit all because _you _wouldn't tell him you were hungry?"

"Don't get mad at me!" Sam shouts, tears welling up in his eyes. "Food is the last thing I've been thinking about! I've been worried about you the past twenty four hours!"

"Sam-"

"Your _sick! _Your in the _hospital _Dean!"

"Sam-"

"And the doctors think you have _cancer! _I think that takes more notice than me right now!"

Dean sighs and waits for his brother to finish off his tantrum. Sam's face is red and he's breathing hard; he's pissed. And Dean can't exactly get mad at him for being pissed about all of this. It's not like he's jumping for joy at the moment.

"You done?" He asks after a minute. Sam slowly nods and wipes the back of his hand across his eyes and Dean tells him to climb up on the bed next to him and wraps an arm around him.

"I'm sorry," He tells him. "I know your scared and upset. But you can't do this to yourself, your only gonna make _yourself _sick and I..." Dean runs a hand through his hair and sighs. "I just don't want to be worrying about you passing out on me. I'm not feeling good, you know that. Just tell me or dad if you start feeling low, alright?"

Sam nods. "Yeah, alright."

John comes back in a few minutes later with a nurse pushing in another tray of food. She smiles at Sam and sets it in front of him before walking back out of the room.

"You gonna eat now?" John asks and takes a seat in the other chair next to his son's bed and ruffles Sam's hair before turning on the t.v.

Dean nods and glances down at his own tray of food. It's meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans. Not exactly his choice for lunch, but he's not gonna complain about it.

Dean does his best to secretly spoon the rest of his green beans onto Sam's plate after he's finished with everything else. Sam obviously notices, but he still eats them, satisfied with how much Dean has already eaten.

"You know I can see you, Dean." John says and clicks the t.v. off and smiles over at his kids. "You keep feeding Sam your vegetables and he's gonna be taller than you one day."

Sam beams at this, and Dean just shrugs.

"I'll take what I can get." He says and let's his head rest back against the pillows, feeling tired all of a sudden.

John seems to notice and he taps his foot at the end of the bed. "I'm gonna take Sam back to Bobby's so he can get changed and rest up a bit. You gonna be okay by yourself?"

Dean looks at him with tired eyes and nods. "Yeah. I'll probably just sleep."

"Alright. Bobby will probably be back soon. We'll see you later." John tells him before standing up and looking at Sam. "Say bye to your brother, Sam."

Sam doesn't waste any time giving Dean a hug; they don't do it often, but Sam figures it's okay this time. Dean just smiles and returns the hug.

"See ya later, Sammy."

He's not really sure why hearing those words makes him feel better, probably because Dean's being so positive about all of this and he isn't. It just helps him to know everything might be okay.

Might be being the outlook.

Sam follows his dad out to the parking lot and slides in the front seat of the impala. This isn't right. He's supposed to be sitting in the back and Dean's supposed to be sitting up front with dad trying to defuse one of their latest arguments. This...this just isn't right.

John starts the car and starts the drive back home in silence, but Sam has other plans.

"I'm sorry, dad."

John laughs a little and shakes his head. "My god, what in the hell are you sorry for Sam?" He asks and glances over toward his youngest.

Sam shrugs and sighs. "For back there... for letting Dean think you weren't taking care of me." He feels tears well up in his eyes all over again. "I'm just really _scared _ dad."

John reaches over and puts a hand on Sam's shoulder and nods. "It's alright. I should have asked if you were okay. I'm scared too son. It's alright to be scared." He says, and it hurts him to even admit it. He's never thought it was okay to be scared of anything, but losing one of his son's is a whole other story.

When John pulls into the salvage yard, he kills the car and sighs. "Go on in, Sam. I'll be in there in a minute."

Sam slowly nods and unbuckles his seat belt before opening the door and walking inside alone.

John puts his face in his hands as tears fall from his eyes. "Forgive me, Mary." He chokes out, before breaking down. "Whatever happens, I'm gonna make sure our boy pulls through. I promise." He says and nods to himself. "I'm gonna watch out better for Sam too. God, I'm so sorry..." He adds and slams his hands down on the steering wheel.

_I'm so sorry._

Sam walks into his own room that him and Dean share and sighs. He hasn't been in here since the other night when Dean passed out. It sends an unsettling shiver down his spine.

He takes a seat down on his bed and looks up at the ceiling. He's never really prayed before, just when he was around Pastor Jim, which wasn't very much anyways. He folds his hands and closes his eyes.

"God, I know I don't really do this much...but Pastor Jim says when something bad happens, then you should pray for it to get better." He chokes out. "Please, I just want Dean to be okay. I don't want him to be sick. If you can make him better, I promise I'll never ask for anything again."

_Please._

__He he puts his fists in his eyes when the tears finally fall, and this time, he doesn't let them stop.

Bobby stands outside in the hall shaking his head slightly. He'd just woken up when he heard Sam inside his own room praying to god for something that might not be able to be fixed.

"Sam..." He mumbles and shakes his head again before walking downstairs. He notices John outside, still in the car with his head down on the steering wheel.

"Come on God." He says out loud. "You heard the kid. Don't let Dean be as sick as the doctors think he is."

_Please._

* * *

_To Be Continued..._


End file.
